do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
