I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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