so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
