We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
