I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
