no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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