He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
