I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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