I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
