I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
