also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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