Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You're like the curious george of whores
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
