he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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