I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
