hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
