somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just google imaged poop.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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