everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
