I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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