If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
