OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Green mimosas i think yes
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
