oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
