I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
