am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
