So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
