I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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