I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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