nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
