I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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