a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
