dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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