So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
