ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
