Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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