she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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