Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
