smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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