Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
