the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
