They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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