How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
