It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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