it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
