I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
