If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
