Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
