I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
