we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
