I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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