he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
