butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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